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Letters written to problems, not people – by everyday champions, like you.
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Artwork depicts a dove landing atop the outstretched hand of an angel; which was used to capture the tone of a letter written to Diabetes for www.deardiagnosis.com.

Dear Type I Diabetes

January 21, 2018

You have been my adversary and advocate for nearly 54 years. Since the age of 9 you have guided, for better or worse, throughout my entire life. For many of the early pre-teen and teenage years I hated you! I missed out on so much – parties, summer camp (no camps for diabetics then), overnights at friends’ houses, trick or treating, and (of course) all the best foods. You were at best an adversary and at worst an enemy – don’t get me started on the trips to the hospital. They were the worst! Especially the first one, when after a single day on the pediatric floor the doctor assigned to me dragged me out of bed to take me down the hall and into a room with a patient my age. “What’s wrong with him?” that ass-hole bellowed. “I don’t know,” I told him. “I think he’s just sleeping?” “Sleeping! He’s not sleeping. He’s in a coma. He’s a diabetic like you. He doesn’t take care of himself. He comes in every couple of months in that condition. He’ll die soon and so will you, if you don’t take better care of yourself!” Lesson learned. You’re going to kill me.  “And if I’m really lucky,” another voice told me about the same time, “It won’t happen until you’re 35.”

So, I began a 26 year wait for death – sometimes trying hard to ward you off by caring for myself compulsively and other times figuring, what’s the use? I might as well ignore you and enjoy the years I have left! During those times I neglected your care – no urine glucose tests, no finger sticks, no regular visits to the doctor. Whatever happens, happens. Except things happened, which involved more than you and me: Marriage, three children, & (eventually) two grandchildren. Work in the church too, which most days I love – most days. It was here you began to be more of an advocate than an adversary – the second never completely eliminating the first, of course. You advocated for the extension of my life with and for those I love. You nurtured a sense of compassion in me toward those who also live with some chronic or life-threatening diagnosis. Diabetes, sure, but also heart disease, cancer, M.S., M.D., A.L.S., addictions, and all those mental illnesses diagnosed in my family. You helped me sit with them in their diseases and, as you know, into their deaths… Could I have done this without you? Who knows? But I’ll give you credit for this one!

Thanks to a stroke and visual problems – which you caused, by the way – I guess I need to give you some indirect credit for pushing me to take my self-care more seriously over the years. An insulin pump, a great endocrinologist, a vision-saving eye doctor, better diet and consistent exercise – don’t take all the credit for this last one; the dog encourages daily walks! These habits have lead to reasonably good health, especially for someone who has lived with you for 54 years. An advocate in some ways…

Would I have chosen those 54 years without you? Absolutely! But do I understand the way you have been a major player in forming who I am? I guess another absolutely is in order. Don’t get a swelled head – or pancreas, though (ha!) – depending on what happens, I may hate you again tomorrow. Today? Well, we’re on pretty good terms, and I guess that’s not so bad.

​Pastor
​Male, Age 63
Diabetes, Type I

A man with facial hair's mouth appears with a single pill sticking out of it to compliment a letter written to Hypothyroidism and Synthroid for the Dear Diagnosis literary project.

Dear Congenital Hypothyroidism (CH)

January 21, 2018

Many would say today that if you had to have a birth defect, you would be their choice; as the treatment is without side effects.  These days, you require only a pill, such as Levothyroxine, Synthroid, or Armor thyroid, to supplement the thyroid hormone. In pill form, the hormone is simply delivered without a need to suffer the conditions and outcomes that I experienced in early development – without a test to determine the need for treatment. In America, today, most children are checked at birth for this condition and treatment is started immediately if found.  Previously, though, those affected were considered ‘mentally retarded’ and did not live very long without a supplement.

At birth the signs of your presence had been masked as my mother supplied me with her thyroid hormone en utero.  It was after my birth and at home that the telltale signs appeared. This period prior to treatment created concerns for the doctors and problems for me as there were no long-term study results from which they could provide reliable estimates of outcomes – the thyroid medication had only been in use for approximately 18 months prior to my birth.  Without this information, I was diagnosed in childhood but it was difficult for the doctors to tell my parents what they might expect in regards to my potential physical and mental development.  From conversations I had with my parents as an adult, I learned that the doctors had delivered low expectations for what I might be able to accomplish on an intellectual level.  With inaccurate information, my parents did not expect much from me and my sense of self- worth was respectively low.

I have read over a considerable amount of information on you, CH, and understand that the problems that present themselves as a result of having you vary depending on the amount of time that the condition goes untreated.  As a result of delayed treatment and your presence in my life, I developed Atrial Fibrillation and Attention Deficit Disorder (AD/HD), along with Clinical Depression.  Fortunately, I do have above average intelligence, which allowed me to obtain a college degree and pursue work in my field of study. Unfortunately, the ADD caused all sorts of problems with my employers over the years and at home.

Furthermore, the numerous blood draws that began in infancy led to a lifetime aversion toward needles.  On the positive side, this kept me far away from IV drug use, which became popular in my youth and early adulthood.  I have not struggled with drug addiction, as I resented so much having to take a medication every day.  Unfortunately, the mean kids in school found out and would tease me saying things like, “Have you taken your pill today?” Furthermore, on the negative side – it made it very difficult to watch, much less assist, my daughter with insulin injections when she was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes just after her 14th birthday.I still have a hard time watching needles going into bodies now, even if it’s just a movie.

I am now 66 years old.  I am grateful at this stage of my life to be in fairly good health.  My support system which includes a loving and knowledgeable partner, loving children, grandchildren, close friends, and informed medical specialists help to keep me in good spirits, most of the time.  I realize that I am one of the oldest CH people alive today and feel fortunate to have been provided with the life-saving medication at the near beginning of my life.  Yes, it would have been nice if the doctors who were caring for me in my infancy and childhood could have given my parents a more positive prognosis; but it is understandable why they didn’t. Nevertheless, my life has been more full than empty. CH, you have been a pain in the ass to live with, but I suspect that you partnered with me to help teach me many of life’s lessons and for those reasons; I choose to accept your presence. Next life, however, I’d appreciate it if you’d go couple with someone else.

Male, Age 66
Congenital Hypothyroidism, Atrial Fibrillation, AD/HD, Clinical Depression