Dear Diagnosis (AKA One of my Shitty Roommates)

I was glad to finally meet you face-to-face, after ailing me for so long. The story started about 10 years before I even knew your name and while out on my adventure to find you – during which I managed to pick-up some other annoying housemates along the way. You are not a very tolerable roommate, which I do not appreciate. You embarrass me. You depress me. You raise my anxiety. You are debilitatingly painful. In an effort to evict you, I had a few procedures. Thereafter, your name stayed but your essence was gone (hooray!) Until now, when you birthed your way back (are you fucking kidding me??) Just when my life was pain free, you moved back in without my consent!

Well, I’ve got another eviction notice coming your way: This is temporary housing. Your name may be on the lease in MY body that we share, but I don’t have to tolerate your obnoxious ways nor will I acknowledge you once you’re gone. I will see the doctor Friday in hopes of scheduling another eviction. You may never be gone permanently – damn these tenant ‘rights’ – but I will not allow your shenanigans to hurt our household, as I have in the past.

Ouch Ouch Go Away,

Female, Age 40
Pudendal Neuralgia, Endometriosis