How much of my life have I spent hitting snooze? I’ve missed so much. I’ve unwillingly devoted entire days to sleep because of you. The sun makes me tired. Rain makes me tired. Eating too much. Not eating enough. Car rides. Bike rides. Swimming. Everything makes me tired. Idiopathic Hypersomnia, YOU make me tired…
[liker id="2205"]
What you didn’t tell me is how I would lose my sense of self in both good and bad ways, how I would go a bit crazy. How I would dance and hula hoop on the sun-kissed deck at 6am before the baby woke up, how I would cry with joy and swelling emotion as I listened to a favorite song. How I would experience a manic episode starting a week after the baby was born…
[liker id="1748"]
You’re hurting me right now. Please stop. I don’t want to shrivel into a ball of pain and tears all the time, especially not now. I have clients to work with, people who need support. I also need support. I have a new relationship to tend to, to learn about and grow with. I don’t want to be paralyzed by my fears…
[liker id="1459"]
To all the diagnostic labels that have tormented me for as long as I can remember: You are not welcome in my life. From a child you lied to me saying I was broken and cant do the things I want. You tried very hard to prevent me from studying and just want me to die. I don’t like your plan for my life and you need to leave me alone…
[liker id="1467"]
I spin, twirl, shake, leap. You’re still there as I watch others. You’re in my mind as I create. You’re telling me I’m bad – I’m going to fall. I try to ignore you. I try, I try, I try but, I can’t multitask! As I forget what’s going on, you come back stronger. “You’re going to fall, you’re going to fall,” you say…
[liker id="1139"]
I never got to thank the person who introduced us. It’s someone on twitter, and I’ve been too shy to tell them. Also because it happened years ago, and if I tell them now it’ll look like I’ve had this gratitude for them kept hidden for so long – it’s almost stalkerish and… WAIT. This is not central to what I wanted to tell you. I think…
[liker id="1138"]
To be fair, doctors fail to have a consensus if the symptoms I experience are the PTSD, the saucier version C-PTSD, MDD, or any of the others listed in my medical chart. You hide in the darkness of all those letters and let your symptoms do the work. You use the self-inflicted injuries to muddy the waters for my care and create distance between myself and everyone else…
[liker id="1137"]
Let me just start by saying postpartum is rough, let alone when you creep in. Hormones and lack of sleep aside, my body is fighting and still healing from an infection. I want to say it doesn’t matter how my baby entered the world, but I would be lying. Although, you know that…
[liker id="1135"]
La prima volta che mi hanno parlato di te avevo dicianove anni. Ho voluto finire con la mia vita dopo di vivere una tristezza che non finiva mai. Il psichiatra ha detto che ero depressa e che mi sono fatta male perche avevo bisogno di piu attenzione…
[liker id="1134"]
Dear Diagnosis, stealing away my hopes and dreams; a necrosis on my everyday things. Should this be a letter to the C-PTSD? Fibromyalgia or Anxiety? Hey maybe it’s to Depression – a soul sucking life draining infection nobody can see; or maybe it’s to D.I.D fractured personalities woven in complexities…
[liker id="1130"]