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Letters written to problems, not people – by everyday champions, like you.
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Dear Diabetes 1

A finger with a droplet of blood is used to provide a sample for blood glucose testing; which accompanies a letter written to Diabetes-1 for Dear Diagnosis.

I feel you are a piece of my fingerprint, as I can’t recall life without you.  You add an extra weight to my shoulders which is where my stress rides.  As soon as I have you figured out, you change.  I thank God each day for those whom understand this dark, hidden and shaded part of you.  So often I feel judged, looked down upon and less because of you.  I have to explain to those in healthcare that 100% perfection is unrealistic and I regularly feel judged by nurses and doctors if I open up this conversation at work and in their respective specialities, as their patient.

You allow me to set limits and use you as an excuse.  You were so inconspicuous, I didn’t even realize I was under your wrath!   For years, I thought I wasn’t smart enough and that I would be a dis-service in healthcare, but slowly I have realized you were wrong.  My soul is fueled through the service of others and I refuse to treat someone with disrespect, prejudgement and assumptions. Diabetes, thank you for sparking this fire – you are the driving force that will make me good at this chosen career path!  I have fallen victim to you in sports, with relationships and as a parent. You even lowered my blood sugar so drastically that I couldn’t walk this past year.  Remember that time in college that I came-to in the ED with a Dr. chewing me out really close to my face, accusing me of drinking too much the night before.  I grabbed him by the shirt and asked if he smelled anything resembling boos oozing out of my pores.  Case in point Diabetes. I’m glad I have God on my side, coupled with a few Angels, human watchdogs, a bad-ass husband and a few chosen ones who have been or are blessings when I was down with you diabetes!

You cost me a fortune every year and you make me resist change in my life because I fear how much it will cost me.  Can I afford the copays? Wait, can I afford the insurance to have the copays during these times? I have been misquoted, misdiagnosed as a Type 2 Diabetic (twice) and talked down to by uninformed customer service reps. Speaking of costs, my favorite Endocrinologist is a Tier 2 provider (which costs me more money) but after firing 3 Tier 1 Endo’s, it’s worth the extra money to have the team who specialize in reigning you back in.  Sometimes even you get me so distraught, I need to trust those on my defensive team against you. You are the reason:

  • I am classified as a letter F in the game of life insurance (lower than a smoker and countless other conditions that would really irk me if I knew about).
  • As I realized my now-husband was the love of my life, I began asking important questions regarding the genetics he carried (because of you); making sure his family list was free from gland issues and endocrine system failures –  although I am not 100% certain that you, T1 diabetes, is passed along completely through the genetic code. Studies have found you to be linked to a few strains of gut bacteria, in which vaccinations may hold they key for prevention, although these studies still have several years of testing left. I am still convinced I will live to see the end of you and I pray everyday for God to surround my kids in armor against your wrath. I also believe that my genes are pretty rockin’ outside of the potential they may carry you in them.
  • I choose to prioritize working out on a regular basis and I thank you for that! There is NO lying that you are more controlled when I workout!
  • I get mean looks when I have to eat the last snack in my purse and my kids are staring at me like starving children because my sugar is low.  They are starting to understand that you, diabetes, are a beast not to be reckoned with, it’s just the stares I get from those judge glancers.
  • I am stronger willed than most and I must thank you for me having in-depth knowledge on how my body breaks down certain carbs, sugars and fats!
  • I have been forever humbled as I still have to ask for help, at times.
  • My blood boils when I have to call insurance companies, go to a new Dr. appointment for anything (dentist, eye Dr., PCP, etc.) as they often like to chime in on my medical condition, but through this I am not afraid to fire a Dr.
  • You make me annoyed with my kids when you’re not controlled. I just fired my last endocrinologist for the reason that my kids deserve better.  Lay off diabetes, parenting is hard enough without my you pestering me.
  • My low blood sugars affect my affection toward those that I love. Why does a low blood sugar have to affect orgasms???

I’ve started a list of things I will do when I see this disease cured.  An Ironman is the only feat on that list, one that I do not feel diabetes would allow me to do in my current state.  Maybe I will change my way of thinking someday or maybe I will rein-in on my dream.

Diabetes, I’ll talk with you in an hour when I’m ready for lunch.

Female, Age 34
Diabetes, Type I

Dear Diagnosis Affirmation Key

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