There is no intermission,
No curtain call,
No dimming lights –
Just numbers glowing in the dark.
It’s lows after midnight,
Math before breakfast,
And alarms that do not care
If I am tired.
They say “manage it” –
Like it’s a planner;
Like it fits into neat boxes.
But it lives outside the lines.
It bleeds into every moment.
I don’t think I am as afraid
Of the highs and lows,
As I am afraid
Of never getting a break.
The constant awareness –
The counting,
The calculating
The quiet fear of getting it all wrong.
Female, 17 y/o
Diabetes, Type I
6 thoughts on “T1D (A Poem)”
I love this ! I appreciate the poem giving insight to those who don’t experience T1. There’s so much about chronic illness that people don’t see, and this captures that reality so well.
Awesome poem! It captures the essence of diabetes angst.
While I’m not a T1D, I do suffer from lupus, an autoimmune disorder this poem resonated deeply with me. There’s so much time and energy involved in planning daily activities that most others would not understand. There’s always a “toolbox” of things that need to be with us. Being without a medication can truly make or break your day. Thank you for sharing this and for the reminder that we’re not alone!
I am the mother of a Type 1 who watched her struggle as you do. You are strong as she is….you are brave as she is…you are sensitive and bright as she is…. I can never walk in your shoes but as a loved one I can empathize, love and care for you and she…stay strong, brave and full of light…A Mother’s love.
This absolutely speaks to me and the hyper vigilance and exhaustion of T1D. Know you’re not alone in this all consuming process🩷
I am not T1D, but I do have a chronic illness that requires that I stay on top of my meds and activities. I have found it helpful to stay in the present so as not to create anxiety from what might happen if I don’t stay alert; or become depressed thinking about what happened to me. Based on my reading of your poem, it appears to me that you have the wherewithal to take care of yourself. The poem you wrote is awesome. I suspect that you are as well.